01/26/15
I haven't read very much of 50 Shades of Grey. I checked out a couple of excerpts, just to see what all of the fuss was about. Wow. It's, well. Visual. Graphic, even. It's like the bodice ripper crap novels that used to be next to the checkout lines at all of the Giant Eagles, with the perversion knob turned all the way to 11. The bodice rippers go to 10. This book goes to 11.
Of course, when I heard this was coming to the silver screen--I was reticent. Part of me felt that this was like acceptable soft pornography for females to indulge in, while men are often judged negatively for doing the same thing.
But that original gut reaction was incorrect. The more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that 99% of movie plots involve the male being the aggressor, the female being the pursued. Yes, 50 Shades is that same sort of thing. But it's the female exploring the darker desires, while the male seems quite a bit like an object, at times.
It's a rather sharp double-standard. Most men probably aren't comfortable with this type of film coming out because women are usually shamed for expressing some of the same sentiments that men express amongst their friends, on the Internet, out loud. Men are hailed as studs, women reviled as tramps. Men don't need to repress their blatant aggressiveness--we probably should. But society doesn't really require us to do so. We're always portrayed, in films and in books, as the chaser after the chaste.
I would figure it would be rather difficult being female, watching a large majority of the films displaying the woman as the object that always needs protected. Then, once protected, desired. It's cliché and expected. Maybe it's not too jarring because we're all trained to fit these roles from the time we get blue and pink blankets in our cribs. The women who are represented as strong and aggressive figures on film and in literature are usually just given these traits by making them more masculine and aggressive--even by throwing them in leather and armor, with a bow and arrow--not really independent.
So, I've decided to shut up. It's probably time for women to enjoy a film where inhibitions are not forced upon them by being the object of the gaze the entire time. The role reverses a little bit. Society is just going to have to be comfortable with that. Maybe even confronting, on another level, the fact that many of the preconceived notions are outdated--and due for a shift.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Life Ain't Nothing But Bits and Money: Video Games That Stick With Me
01/19/15
A couple of days ago, while looking at my brand new, shiny consoles--I got sad. I felt like a failure. I have about 20 games from the last generation of consoles that I never finished, and it makes me feel wasteful. Why did I not finish them? Too busy? Maybe. But probably not. I just get bored or get excited about the next thing that's coming out.
I joke that the reason I buy all the new consoles right away is because, as a child, I was usually a console behind. I got Pong when the Atari came out. I got an Atari very shortly before the Nintendo hit market. When the 16 Bit revolution was going on, I still played the Nintendo for quite a while. New consoles were expensive, and my family certainly wasn't wealthy when I was growing up. So now, if it comes out, I usually snag it up right away like the spoiled brat that I am.
Anyhow, I decided to take on Bioshock. I've never gotten more than one hour into the game. I think this is my third time starting over. So far, it's a blast. It got me to thinkin'--what games shaped me into the gamer I am now? If I had to just pick a handful, from all of the consoles past and present, what games would be on my Mount Rushmore of games. Well, these games would:
Pong
This game really was my first system. Just two knobs. My brother wasn't born yet, or he was just drooling at that point. No neighbors. I just played with myself all the time. Yikes. You know what I mean.
Pitfall (Atari 2600)
You could go underground and there were alligators. That's really all I needed to love this game. Not sure if you could "beat" the game, per say. But I loved it. So much so, this is incorporated into my video game tattoo. Yes, I have a video game tattoo. I'm that guy.
Bowling (Atari 2600)
This game was just pure fun, and I could play for hours.
Warlords (Atari 2600)
Yes! This game allowed four people to play against each other, at home. This was quite unheard of. Players also used the turny-knob controllers, which I really only used for this and the one nighttime racing game.
Mario Brothers, Super Mario Brothers, SMB 2, SMB 3 (NES)
My obsession with Mario started early. I couldn't get enough of these games, and all of them felt so unique. I must say, Super Mario Brothers 3 is my favorite, but 2 has quite a bit of charm as well. Mario is part of the tat.
The Legend of Zelda Games (except II) -- Several Systems
I really hated Zelda II, but every other Zelda game has been awesome. I haven't finished Skyward Sword and I never finished Windwaker. But I just got the HD update for the WiiU of Windwaker, so that might be next on my list to finish--if I ever conquer Bioshock. Ocarina of Time and A Link to the Past are tied for my favorites. Both great games! Link is part of the tat.
Contra (NES)
Sure I used up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A--who didn't? But eventually, I got good enough where I could beat this game with less than three lives. Shooting the aliens heart repeatedly at the end was extremely rewarding. The music was catchy, and the guns (except for that damned spinny, spirally gun) were awesome!
Tekken 2 (PlayStation)
I never loved fighting games, but this one was great. When I lived with a few friends, we'd have people over and just play this forever. Except Eddy Gordo. Screw that guy.
Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis)
I hung out with a few friends in Girard and played this from the time we got home from school until I had to go home to sleep. Still fun to play! Seriously. It has aged well.
Conker's Bad Fur Day (N64)
This squirrel swore, he bounced around on a flowers boobs and the money would talk to you and taunt you in a New York accent. I couldn't believe the raunchiness of this game--which is nothing compared to more recent games. But I loved it, and I'd play it again right now. I'm sure it still is fun and hysterical.
GoldenEye (N64)
Everybody loves this game. Everyone. I had a N64 which I'd take everywhere to play against friends. I called it the box full of fun. And it was, every time.
No Mercy/WrestleMania 2000 (N64)
This is when wrestling games were simply pure, unadulterated fun. Now it's complex to line up ladders with belts, and tables, and buttons and timing. These games were the best, and I'd play, alone and with friends, for hours. In fact, No Mercy would go in my Top 5, no question.
Resident Evil (PlayStation)
A game which was scary? Legitimately scary. They're about to release an updated version tomorrow (I think) for the new consoles, and I'll probably pick it up. The controls seem clunky now, but back when it was released, I'd never seen anything like it. So engaging!
WrestleFest (Arcade Game)
I told my Dad when we were at Truck World, when I was like 14, "Someday, I'll buy this when I'm a man, so I can play it at home!" My dad said, "Son, you won't want that when you're grown up. You'll want adult things." Yeah, I own it. It's in my basement right now.
Grand Theft Auto 4 & 5 (Xbox360)
I know San Andreas and GTA3 were groundbreaking, but these games was so unbelievable. The storylines were always shifting and changing, and you could do WHATEVER you want in them. I gave up over 60 hours on each one, and it was the best 120 hours you can spend on a game.
The Last of Us (PS3)
This might be the greatest game I've ever played. I'm not 100% sure. But it's close. Every second is on-the-edge-of-your-seat action, and the ending is the most soul-destroying ending I've ever seen for a game. It starts out with insanity, and it never quits for over 20 hours. There are several cut scenes which I will never forget for the rest of my life,
NBA2K14 (PS4)
The only game I've ever spent over 100 hours playing (Zelda: Twilight Princess clocked in at just under 90). I took my player, Smoove Wilcox to a title with the New Orleans Pelicans. Sometimes, when I see the Pelicans on TV, I still think they actually won a title. It was just really, really fun.
Socom 2 (PlayStation 2)
This was the first game I ever played online against people. Jeremy and I would play the Abandoned board over and over and over. We were such campers, but we were good. I eventually created a gamer name alternative so offensive, that all the players on my own team would just kill me as soon as I spawned. Calling me terrible names. Boy, that was a good time.
Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2 (XBox360)
I've never played so much online war. It never got old, and it was the first game to incorporate all the weapon upgrades that ACTUALLY made a difference.
Tiger Woods Golf 2004 (Gamecube)
All I have to say, this game was so fun, I started golfing in real life just because I liked the video game. That's right, my third favorite hobby, behind music and gaming--started because of this game. It's cost me thousands of dollars and handfuls of broken clubs since then. I don't regret a thing.
Animal Crossing (Gamecube)
This game never really WENT anywhere, but I got a statue of myself eventually and I made shirts making fun of my friend Julian, which ended up in games in Chicago because TubRing stayed at our house after we played with them at the Binghi. That's a memory for a lifetime.
Metal Gear Solid 2 (PlayStation 2)
I hid under a box for 25 hours and choked dudes out. Then I threw them in lockers. Yes, that WAS amazingly entertaining!
Batman Arkham Asylum (PS3)
Just a badassed game. It makes you FEEL like you're really Batman. How can that NOT be awesome. The newer games in the series are just as good--but this was my first!
All I know is that the PS4 and XboxOne are the most powerful consoles I've ever owned. I can't wait to see what the next decade of gaming has in store!
A couple of days ago, while looking at my brand new, shiny consoles--I got sad. I felt like a failure. I have about 20 games from the last generation of consoles that I never finished, and it makes me feel wasteful. Why did I not finish them? Too busy? Maybe. But probably not. I just get bored or get excited about the next thing that's coming out.
I joke that the reason I buy all the new consoles right away is because, as a child, I was usually a console behind. I got Pong when the Atari came out. I got an Atari very shortly before the Nintendo hit market. When the 16 Bit revolution was going on, I still played the Nintendo for quite a while. New consoles were expensive, and my family certainly wasn't wealthy when I was growing up. So now, if it comes out, I usually snag it up right away like the spoiled brat that I am.
Anyhow, I decided to take on Bioshock. I've never gotten more than one hour into the game. I think this is my third time starting over. So far, it's a blast. It got me to thinkin'--what games shaped me into the gamer I am now? If I had to just pick a handful, from all of the consoles past and present, what games would be on my Mount Rushmore of games. Well, these games would:
Pong
This game really was my first system. Just two knobs. My brother wasn't born yet, or he was just drooling at that point. No neighbors. I just played with myself all the time. Yikes. You know what I mean.
Pitfall (Atari 2600)
You could go underground and there were alligators. That's really all I needed to love this game. Not sure if you could "beat" the game, per say. But I loved it. So much so, this is incorporated into my video game tattoo. Yes, I have a video game tattoo. I'm that guy.
Bowling (Atari 2600)
This game was just pure fun, and I could play for hours.
Warlords (Atari 2600)
Yes! This game allowed four people to play against each other, at home. This was quite unheard of. Players also used the turny-knob controllers, which I really only used for this and the one nighttime racing game.
Mario Brothers, Super Mario Brothers, SMB 2, SMB 3 (NES)
My obsession with Mario started early. I couldn't get enough of these games, and all of them felt so unique. I must say, Super Mario Brothers 3 is my favorite, but 2 has quite a bit of charm as well. Mario is part of the tat.
The Legend of Zelda Games (except II) -- Several Systems
I really hated Zelda II, but every other Zelda game has been awesome. I haven't finished Skyward Sword and I never finished Windwaker. But I just got the HD update for the WiiU of Windwaker, so that might be next on my list to finish--if I ever conquer Bioshock. Ocarina of Time and A Link to the Past are tied for my favorites. Both great games! Link is part of the tat.
Contra (NES)
Sure I used up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A--who didn't? But eventually, I got good enough where I could beat this game with less than three lives. Shooting the aliens heart repeatedly at the end was extremely rewarding. The music was catchy, and the guns (except for that damned spinny, spirally gun) were awesome!
Tekken 2 (PlayStation)
I never loved fighting games, but this one was great. When I lived with a few friends, we'd have people over and just play this forever. Except Eddy Gordo. Screw that guy.
Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis)
I hung out with a few friends in Girard and played this from the time we got home from school until I had to go home to sleep. Still fun to play! Seriously. It has aged well.
Conker's Bad Fur Day (N64)
This squirrel swore, he bounced around on a flowers boobs and the money would talk to you and taunt you in a New York accent. I couldn't believe the raunchiness of this game--which is nothing compared to more recent games. But I loved it, and I'd play it again right now. I'm sure it still is fun and hysterical.
GoldenEye (N64)
Everybody loves this game. Everyone. I had a N64 which I'd take everywhere to play against friends. I called it the box full of fun. And it was, every time.
No Mercy/WrestleMania 2000 (N64)
This is when wrestling games were simply pure, unadulterated fun. Now it's complex to line up ladders with belts, and tables, and buttons and timing. These games were the best, and I'd play, alone and with friends, for hours. In fact, No Mercy would go in my Top 5, no question.
Resident Evil (PlayStation)
A game which was scary? Legitimately scary. They're about to release an updated version tomorrow (I think) for the new consoles, and I'll probably pick it up. The controls seem clunky now, but back when it was released, I'd never seen anything like it. So engaging!
WrestleFest (Arcade Game)
I told my Dad when we were at Truck World, when I was like 14, "Someday, I'll buy this when I'm a man, so I can play it at home!" My dad said, "Son, you won't want that when you're grown up. You'll want adult things." Yeah, I own it. It's in my basement right now.
Grand Theft Auto 4 & 5 (Xbox360)
I know San Andreas and GTA3 were groundbreaking, but these games was so unbelievable. The storylines were always shifting and changing, and you could do WHATEVER you want in them. I gave up over 60 hours on each one, and it was the best 120 hours you can spend on a game.
The Last of Us (PS3)
This might be the greatest game I've ever played. I'm not 100% sure. But it's close. Every second is on-the-edge-of-your-seat action, and the ending is the most soul-destroying ending I've ever seen for a game. It starts out with insanity, and it never quits for over 20 hours. There are several cut scenes which I will never forget for the rest of my life,
NBA2K14 (PS4)
The only game I've ever spent over 100 hours playing (Zelda: Twilight Princess clocked in at just under 90). I took my player, Smoove Wilcox to a title with the New Orleans Pelicans. Sometimes, when I see the Pelicans on TV, I still think they actually won a title. It was just really, really fun.
Socom 2 (PlayStation 2)
This was the first game I ever played online against people. Jeremy and I would play the Abandoned board over and over and over. We were such campers, but we were good. I eventually created a gamer name alternative so offensive, that all the players on my own team would just kill me as soon as I spawned. Calling me terrible names. Boy, that was a good time.
Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2 (XBox360)
I've never played so much online war. It never got old, and it was the first game to incorporate all the weapon upgrades that ACTUALLY made a difference.
Tiger Woods Golf 2004 (Gamecube)
All I have to say, this game was so fun, I started golfing in real life just because I liked the video game. That's right, my third favorite hobby, behind music and gaming--started because of this game. It's cost me thousands of dollars and handfuls of broken clubs since then. I don't regret a thing.
Animal Crossing (Gamecube)
This game never really WENT anywhere, but I got a statue of myself eventually and I made shirts making fun of my friend Julian, which ended up in games in Chicago because TubRing stayed at our house after we played with them at the Binghi. That's a memory for a lifetime.
Metal Gear Solid 2 (PlayStation 2)
I hid under a box for 25 hours and choked dudes out. Then I threw them in lockers. Yes, that WAS amazingly entertaining!
Batman Arkham Asylum (PS3)
Just a badassed game. It makes you FEEL like you're really Batman. How can that NOT be awesome. The newer games in the series are just as good--but this was my first!
All I know is that the PS4 and XboxOne are the most powerful consoles I've ever owned. I can't wait to see what the next decade of gaming has in store!
Friday, January 16, 2015
Voyeurs: We Are Watching Us
01/16/15
I've been hearing about the wonders of the selfie-stick.
It just attaches to your phone, and voila. You've got a boom stand for your smart device. Duck lips from below, above, wherever you like.
The current obsession of our culture to watch each other, even people we don't know, is quite alarming. I like Snapchat, but I know so many people who just post things on there throughout the day, and I wonder--when did we all start thinking, "I need to show everyone who's not here this."
I'm not criticizing. I watch all the Snaps. I check out IG, and FB and TW and LMNOP or whatnot. I love it. I feel like I'm getting to know really awesome people, without ever actually hanging out with them. That's odd. We're morphing into a ravenous culture of shameless voyeurs. We just want to show strangers what we're doing, so that we don't feel weird watching what they're doing. I'm caught up with what's going on in over 1,000 people's lives right now. 1,000! One THOUSAND. That's a lot of people. In college, pre-social media, I think I knew 27 people who weren't related to me.
So is this connection to these people real? Does it count as interpersonal communication? I don't believe it does. It's more Intrapersonal. We are probably doing this for ourselves. We want to be watched and followed and viewed. It plays into our need to be noticed, and our desire to be the center of an event--life is an event, don't you think?
The connection is so instant and yet so generic, at times. We can see our friends, beautiful or not, kind or not. We can watch what they do and be there with them, in visual spirit. How many people take 15 versions of a selfie before sharing it? The angle must be right. The lighting. The smile (or scowl, if necessary). Not generic but still cheeky enough to acknowledge that taking a picture of our own face next to a bowl of salad is slightly disconnected, yet thoroughly connected to all who click the like button.
I just wonder if there's a time in the future when people will be shamed if they're seen taking a picture of themselves in public. Right now, it's no-holds-barred. In fact, sometimes we see people taking one and we think, "That's gonna be a good one." It's an art form. But is the art of communication being lost in the process?
I've been hearing about the wonders of the selfie-stick.
It just attaches to your phone, and voila. You've got a boom stand for your smart device. Duck lips from below, above, wherever you like.
The current obsession of our culture to watch each other, even people we don't know, is quite alarming. I like Snapchat, but I know so many people who just post things on there throughout the day, and I wonder--when did we all start thinking, "I need to show everyone who's not here this."
I'm not criticizing. I watch all the Snaps. I check out IG, and FB and TW and LMNOP or whatnot. I love it. I feel like I'm getting to know really awesome people, without ever actually hanging out with them. That's odd. We're morphing into a ravenous culture of shameless voyeurs. We just want to show strangers what we're doing, so that we don't feel weird watching what they're doing. I'm caught up with what's going on in over 1,000 people's lives right now. 1,000! One THOUSAND. That's a lot of people. In college, pre-social media, I think I knew 27 people who weren't related to me.
So is this connection to these people real? Does it count as interpersonal communication? I don't believe it does. It's more Intrapersonal. We are probably doing this for ourselves. We want to be watched and followed and viewed. It plays into our need to be noticed, and our desire to be the center of an event--life is an event, don't you think?
The connection is so instant and yet so generic, at times. We can see our friends, beautiful or not, kind or not. We can watch what they do and be there with them, in visual spirit. How many people take 15 versions of a selfie before sharing it? The angle must be right. The lighting. The smile (or scowl, if necessary). Not generic but still cheeky enough to acknowledge that taking a picture of our own face next to a bowl of salad is slightly disconnected, yet thoroughly connected to all who click the like button.
I just wonder if there's a time in the future when people will be shamed if they're seen taking a picture of themselves in public. Right now, it's no-holds-barred. In fact, sometimes we see people taking one and we think, "That's gonna be a good one." It's an art form. But is the art of communication being lost in the process?
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Odd and Uncomfortable: The Price of Being Weird
01/15/15
I've been asked quite often, "What's the most difficult thing about being a teacher?"
Is it the grading? The misbehavior of your students? The waking up early? I mean, we have summers off. So that's cool. But surely something must be the worst aspect of the job.
Without question, there is one challenge that provides me the most frustration. It's getting kids to be comfortable with who they already are. Just the other day, a student asked if I'd had other students like him--he didn't want to be the only "weird one"--and I explained to him that he IS one of the weird ones. That's why I'm glad to teach him. That's what makes him so spectacular. He's creative and weird and people look at him like he's odd. That's the best kind of kid.
My job is to get WSCN students to create. To have a vision, film it, edit it--then release it for others to critique and enjoy or despise. It's a big leap of faith. When you make something, and share it with everyone else, you have to let go of your fears. Not everyone is going to like what you create. In fact, most probably won't. As my song per week project in 2013 showed me, you can labor over something and kill it with love and passion, and the world takes no notice. Some of the songs were well-received. Some were not. They weren't all good. Some were only listened to seventeen times by random people, and have returned to my computer to never be heard again.
But I remember being that kid at Girard High School in the early '90s. I was in a band with my best friend, Johnny. He was one of the few people who got me. Girls were confusing as shit. I just knew that I could say and do weird shit and Johnny responded by laughing his ass off and doing weird shit back. And I'd laugh at that. My childhood friend Ric had that with me, as we grew up together and looked awkward. My younger brother Donnie is a weird guy, too. My wife is eccentric and creative and silly. I think these are the people I surround myself with because it makes life an adventure. I know, if I fell in front of a train tomorrow, I'd have nil regrets regarding the people I'm with.
I think that's what I want to do at school. I want to make these kids be unafraid. I want them to invite judgment. I want them to bask in their victories and light their failures aflame as they try again. I try to show them editing techniques, and Photoshop basics, and failed videos (I'm looking at you, Journey's "Separate Ways" and Lionel Richie's "Hello").
But what I really want them to do is to understand that they can wake up each day and throw original work out to the Earth, and let it fall where it falls. You have to be naked. Not literally. Usually. But you need to open up your everything and be prepared for the casting of stones.
The proper, the popular--they don't shape the world. They hold a lot of the riches, but they don't make the impact. It's the odd kid in the corner and the weird girl in the back who often find a voice which is seldom heard. Those are the kids I want. I want those kids in my class. I want those kids to be adults in our world. The adults we remember.
I've been asked quite often, "What's the most difficult thing about being a teacher?"
Is it the grading? The misbehavior of your students? The waking up early? I mean, we have summers off. So that's cool. But surely something must be the worst aspect of the job.
Without question, there is one challenge that provides me the most frustration. It's getting kids to be comfortable with who they already are. Just the other day, a student asked if I'd had other students like him--he didn't want to be the only "weird one"--and I explained to him that he IS one of the weird ones. That's why I'm glad to teach him. That's what makes him so spectacular. He's creative and weird and people look at him like he's odd. That's the best kind of kid.
My job is to get WSCN students to create. To have a vision, film it, edit it--then release it for others to critique and enjoy or despise. It's a big leap of faith. When you make something, and share it with everyone else, you have to let go of your fears. Not everyone is going to like what you create. In fact, most probably won't. As my song per week project in 2013 showed me, you can labor over something and kill it with love and passion, and the world takes no notice. Some of the songs were well-received. Some were not. They weren't all good. Some were only listened to seventeen times by random people, and have returned to my computer to never be heard again.
But I remember being that kid at Girard High School in the early '90s. I was in a band with my best friend, Johnny. He was one of the few people who got me. Girls were confusing as shit. I just knew that I could say and do weird shit and Johnny responded by laughing his ass off and doing weird shit back. And I'd laugh at that. My childhood friend Ric had that with me, as we grew up together and looked awkward. My younger brother Donnie is a weird guy, too. My wife is eccentric and creative and silly. I think these are the people I surround myself with because it makes life an adventure. I know, if I fell in front of a train tomorrow, I'd have nil regrets regarding the people I'm with.
I think that's what I want to do at school. I want to make these kids be unafraid. I want them to invite judgment. I want them to bask in their victories and light their failures aflame as they try again. I try to show them editing techniques, and Photoshop basics, and failed videos (I'm looking at you, Journey's "Separate Ways" and Lionel Richie's "Hello").
But what I really want them to do is to understand that they can wake up each day and throw original work out to the Earth, and let it fall where it falls. You have to be naked. Not literally. Usually. But you need to open up your everything and be prepared for the casting of stones.
The proper, the popular--they don't shape the world. They hold a lot of the riches, but they don't make the impact. It's the odd kid in the corner and the weird girl in the back who often find a voice which is seldom heard. Those are the kids I want. I want those kids in my class. I want those kids to be adults in our world. The adults we remember.
Friday, January 2, 2015
2014 In Review
Things from 2014 that will stick with me:
1. The power of positivity - In 2013, I was consumed by the loss of the love in my job. Too many initiatives coming from too many places. So, I began to question my career. What was next? How could I ever accomplish everything that was coming down the road? It seemed impossible. Then, I figured out that it WAS impossible. If I worried about all of the changes and rules and laws and bylaws and standards and tests--I would NEVER get out from under it. So, in 2014 (starting with the new school year in September), I QUIT WORRYING. I don't worry about the meetings and the standards and yadayadayada. Don't get me wrong, when I get observed, I have all my ducks in a row. When it comes time to turn in numbers for the state, I'm ready. I'm still DOING my job. But I'm not worrying about the extra stuff. I'm just enjoying teaching my students. That's what I'm there for. If they ever decide to remove me because I'm not doing this and that, and it's out of my control, I guess I'll leave. But they'll never remove me for not being there for the growth of my kids. That's what it's all about. The suits can decide otherwise.
2. My growth as a golfer, through failure - I was really excited to coach the girls' golf team this past year. Then, on July 5th, I had a terrible meltdown on the course--the first in four or five years, I'd say. I walked off and decided (a) I needed to learn how to golf and (b) I wasn't ready to teach others how to do so. I didn't play until I finished three weeks of lessons near the end of July. Boom. Instant improvement. Yes, I've got a lot more to learn. But instead of shooting 98-102 for 18, I'm usually 90-96 now. That's a big step. I feel badly that I failed the girls who had signed up, but I would've done them a disservice if I tried to guide them to conquering something I hadn't yet conquered. Over the past four or five months, I've conquered it.
3. My legacy is growing more important to me, but I still don't know why - I fear that life is halfway over and I've only accomplished 15% of what I want to do, I'd say. I'm extremely happy being alive and doing what I do, but I still want to do more. So I've gotta pick up the pace.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
I only gave myself three goals for 2014. They were:
1. Write (literature and/or music--but MOSTLY, literature)
2. Publish (literature and/or music--but MOSTLY music)
3. Get better at playing piano and guitar
I did put out my first solo album and finished recording KKC's new disc, after years of delays. I really think we'll have a CD release show in February and will have the CD done and ready for sale by then. I'm working on a project with one of my solo songs, and I'm really excited about that. I still want to fill the world with music. Gotta keep pushing. Sometimes, comfort and happiness can actually lead to laying back, and I need to stop doing this. I feel like I did pretty well with goal #1 and goal #2. Disappointed I didn't write more fiction, because I have a ton of ideas. It's time for a new White Cadillac disc, too.
I didn't get better at playing piano or guitar because I didn't attempt to do that. I wanted to, but just never did it. So, yet again, that will have to be saved for another time. Maybe never?
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
My goals for 2015:
1. Help Erin get Shattered Time to a new level - My wife is making some really cool jewelry and stuff, and it's up to ME to help her get it online and represented in a better selling platform. I haven't because I'm too busy with music, games, house cleaning, etc. I'm being selfish, I think. I need to focus on helping her get this going because she loves it and she's worked so hard at it. Can't drop the ball on this one.
2. Play More Shows - When KKC was booming from 98-02 or so, I would schedule at LEAST three shows a month. All over the place. I quit doing the booking stuff, and we've been kinda coasting since then. I don't WANT to play 36 KKC shows this year. But I think 10-12 isn't out of the question. Do some WC shows. Maybe even do a show for my solo stuff. That would be A LOT of fun, too. I dunno. I just need to give more weekends to music. I don't play covers, so I won't make too much money. But that's not what it's about, is it? At least, not for me.
3. Be available - Especially for family. I don't get to spend much time with my dad and mom because life does life stuff. But I don't want to regret missing chances to see the people I love, because none of us are here forever. That lesson is hitting home, especially over the past few weeks. I need to take advantage of my time with them, so I have memories once the actual people have faded away.
4. Finish my basement - Ugh, I want to make my basement functional and nice. Right now, it looks like the opening scene from Terminator 2 where the robots are shooting lasers and stepping on the skulls. It's that bad.
5. Don't bitch about stuff - Sticking with this positivity thing, I don't want to bitch about stuff. Like, doing dishes. I own a sink and plates and food. But I bitch about doing dishes. That's just ignorant. A lot of people don't have dishes, food, a sink or water. So, quit bitching, Fred. You pansy.
6. Using a scheduler/calendar - I suck at keeping dates straight, so I miss out on things. That's pretty lame.
7. Get back in shape - Yeah, I've been eating a lot of bread. With beers. Beers, too.
-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
My Favorite Albums of 2014:
Honorable Mentions:
Crowbar - Symmetry in Black, Weird Al Yankovic - Mandatory Fun, Weezer - Everything Will be Alright in the End, Magnum - Escape from the Shadow Garden, Goatwhore - Constricting Rage of the Merciless
-----
10. Silver Snakes - Year of the Snake
Sometimes this album sounds like Silverchair. Other times, it's far too rockin' and dirrrty for that. But I really enjoy it.
9. Black Label Society - Catacombs of the Black Vatican
Zakk Wylde proved that he's not bored (nor is he boring) with this album. I thought he's been a bit too predictable and comfortable. But something forced him to dig deeper to make a CATCHY album. Several of the choruses on this effort will stick with a listener for several hours after they've heard it.
8. Opeth - Pale Communion
I was really disappointed with much of Harvest--not because they're too mainstream. Just because it was too dull and drab. The music on this new album really engaged me, and I'm interested in Opeth all over again.
7. Machine Head - Bloodstone and Diamonds
This is raging, yet melodic--which is exactly what Machine Head does best. I hope these guys NEVER hang it up. They're just too damned good.
6. At the Gates - At War with Reality
I'm not sure exactly how long it's been, but I think it's been around 20 years since these guys did a disc. Oh my God. This is as good as thrash can get. If they could've just put out an album once every four years, instead of one every two decades, this band could be one of the greatest metal bands in history.
5. Freddie Gibbs and Madlib - Pinata
It's been about a decade since I last got REALLY into a good rap album. This collaboration is it. Too raw for a nerdy white guy like me to handle. Gotttdamn. It's SOOO good. Go listen to it right now. Especially "Shitsville"--that's a jam.
4. Mastodon - Once More 'Round the Sun
I saw these guys live this year, for like, the fourth time. They were SO damned boring. They didn't even want to be there, I think. Maybe it's because they were too busy getting ready to drop this album. It's excellent. Not one weak track. I might even rank it higher if they hadn't bored me to tears at the House of Blues in Cleveland.
3. Pallbearer - Foundations of Burden
So dark and melodic and slow and tasty and heavy and juicy and oh muh god
2. Beck - Morning Phase
A nice "sequel" to his album from 2002, Sea Change. I had high expectations for this disc and he didn't disappoint. I don't really like quirky, silly Beck very much. But I'm way into depressed, acoustic Beck. This album is top notch. You should give it a legitimate listen.
1. Nothing - Guilty of Everything
Something about this album just won't leave me alone. From the opening dirges of "Hymn to the Pillory" to the last chord on the disc, it just stays with me for days and days. It's got a trancey, almost-shoegaze kind of feel, yet it harkens back to Smashing Pumpkins when they were fresh and meaningful. I really dig this disc more than any other.
----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
My Favorite Songs of 2014
(In no particular order, really)
1. What Did I Do?/God as My Witness - Foo Fighters
2. Beneath the Silt - Machine Head
3. Natural Born Killers - Live
4. At War with Reality - At the Gates
5. AOV - Slipknot
6. Eulogy for a Rock Band - Weezer
7. Clouds - Prince
8. World on Fire - Slash
9. Kill or Become - Cannibal Corpse
10.Cusp of Eternity - Opeth
11. Say Goodbye - Beck
12. Blackbird Chain - Beck
13. Shitsville - Freddie Gibbs and Madlib
14. She Used to Love Me a Lot - Johnny Cash
15. Crying in the Rain - Magnum
16. Red - Silver Snakes
17. Same Side - The Casket Girls
18. Take It Off - Sleeper Agent
19. Heaven's Wall - Bruce Springsteen
20. My Dying Time - Black Label Society
21. Shades of Gray - Black Label Society
22. Pop Bubble - Body Count
23. The Taste of Dying - Crowbar
24. Animal Heart - Nina Persson
25. We Knew Him Well - Down
26. Qwerty - Mushroomhead
27. Dig - Nothing
28. Baring Teeth for Revolt - Goatwhore
29. Would You Fight for My Love? - Jack White
30. Beginning of the End - Judas Priest
31. Just Like a Dream - Lykke Li
32. Take Me to Church - Hozier
33. High Road - Mastodon
34. Ember City - Mastodon
1. The power of positivity - In 2013, I was consumed by the loss of the love in my job. Too many initiatives coming from too many places. So, I began to question my career. What was next? How could I ever accomplish everything that was coming down the road? It seemed impossible. Then, I figured out that it WAS impossible. If I worried about all of the changes and rules and laws and bylaws and standards and tests--I would NEVER get out from under it. So, in 2014 (starting with the new school year in September), I QUIT WORRYING. I don't worry about the meetings and the standards and yadayadayada. Don't get me wrong, when I get observed, I have all my ducks in a row. When it comes time to turn in numbers for the state, I'm ready. I'm still DOING my job. But I'm not worrying about the extra stuff. I'm just enjoying teaching my students. That's what I'm there for. If they ever decide to remove me because I'm not doing this and that, and it's out of my control, I guess I'll leave. But they'll never remove me for not being there for the growth of my kids. That's what it's all about. The suits can decide otherwise.
2. My growth as a golfer, through failure - I was really excited to coach the girls' golf team this past year. Then, on July 5th, I had a terrible meltdown on the course--the first in four or five years, I'd say. I walked off and decided (a) I needed to learn how to golf and (b) I wasn't ready to teach others how to do so. I didn't play until I finished three weeks of lessons near the end of July. Boom. Instant improvement. Yes, I've got a lot more to learn. But instead of shooting 98-102 for 18, I'm usually 90-96 now. That's a big step. I feel badly that I failed the girls who had signed up, but I would've done them a disservice if I tried to guide them to conquering something I hadn't yet conquered. Over the past four or five months, I've conquered it.
3. My legacy is growing more important to me, but I still don't know why - I fear that life is halfway over and I've only accomplished 15% of what I want to do, I'd say. I'm extremely happy being alive and doing what I do, but I still want to do more. So I've gotta pick up the pace.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
I only gave myself three goals for 2014. They were:
1. Write (literature and/or music--but MOSTLY, literature)
2. Publish (literature and/or music--but MOSTLY music)
3. Get better at playing piano and guitar
I did put out my first solo album and finished recording KKC's new disc, after years of delays. I really think we'll have a CD release show in February and will have the CD done and ready for sale by then. I'm working on a project with one of my solo songs, and I'm really excited about that. I still want to fill the world with music. Gotta keep pushing. Sometimes, comfort and happiness can actually lead to laying back, and I need to stop doing this. I feel like I did pretty well with goal #1 and goal #2. Disappointed I didn't write more fiction, because I have a ton of ideas. It's time for a new White Cadillac disc, too.
I didn't get better at playing piano or guitar because I didn't attempt to do that. I wanted to, but just never did it. So, yet again, that will have to be saved for another time. Maybe never?
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
My goals for 2015:
1. Help Erin get Shattered Time to a new level - My wife is making some really cool jewelry and stuff, and it's up to ME to help her get it online and represented in a better selling platform. I haven't because I'm too busy with music, games, house cleaning, etc. I'm being selfish, I think. I need to focus on helping her get this going because she loves it and she's worked so hard at it. Can't drop the ball on this one.
2. Play More Shows - When KKC was booming from 98-02 or so, I would schedule at LEAST three shows a month. All over the place. I quit doing the booking stuff, and we've been kinda coasting since then. I don't WANT to play 36 KKC shows this year. But I think 10-12 isn't out of the question. Do some WC shows. Maybe even do a show for my solo stuff. That would be A LOT of fun, too. I dunno. I just need to give more weekends to music. I don't play covers, so I won't make too much money. But that's not what it's about, is it? At least, not for me.
3. Be available - Especially for family. I don't get to spend much time with my dad and mom because life does life stuff. But I don't want to regret missing chances to see the people I love, because none of us are here forever. That lesson is hitting home, especially over the past few weeks. I need to take advantage of my time with them, so I have memories once the actual people have faded away.
4. Finish my basement - Ugh, I want to make my basement functional and nice. Right now, it looks like the opening scene from Terminator 2 where the robots are shooting lasers and stepping on the skulls. It's that bad.
5. Don't bitch about stuff - Sticking with this positivity thing, I don't want to bitch about stuff. Like, doing dishes. I own a sink and plates and food. But I bitch about doing dishes. That's just ignorant. A lot of people don't have dishes, food, a sink or water. So, quit bitching, Fred. You pansy.
6. Using a scheduler/calendar - I suck at keeping dates straight, so I miss out on things. That's pretty lame.
7. Get back in shape - Yeah, I've been eating a lot of bread. With beers. Beers, too.
-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
My Favorite Albums of 2014:
Honorable Mentions:
Crowbar - Symmetry in Black, Weird Al Yankovic - Mandatory Fun, Weezer - Everything Will be Alright in the End, Magnum - Escape from the Shadow Garden, Goatwhore - Constricting Rage of the Merciless
-----
10. Silver Snakes - Year of the Snake
Sometimes this album sounds like Silverchair. Other times, it's far too rockin' and dirrrty for that. But I really enjoy it.
9. Black Label Society - Catacombs of the Black Vatican
Zakk Wylde proved that he's not bored (nor is he boring) with this album. I thought he's been a bit too predictable and comfortable. But something forced him to dig deeper to make a CATCHY album. Several of the choruses on this effort will stick with a listener for several hours after they've heard it.
8. Opeth - Pale Communion
I was really disappointed with much of Harvest--not because they're too mainstream. Just because it was too dull and drab. The music on this new album really engaged me, and I'm interested in Opeth all over again.
7. Machine Head - Bloodstone and Diamonds
This is raging, yet melodic--which is exactly what Machine Head does best. I hope these guys NEVER hang it up. They're just too damned good.
6. At the Gates - At War with Reality
I'm not sure exactly how long it's been, but I think it's been around 20 years since these guys did a disc. Oh my God. This is as good as thrash can get. If they could've just put out an album once every four years, instead of one every two decades, this band could be one of the greatest metal bands in history.
5. Freddie Gibbs and Madlib - Pinata
It's been about a decade since I last got REALLY into a good rap album. This collaboration is it. Too raw for a nerdy white guy like me to handle. Gotttdamn. It's SOOO good. Go listen to it right now. Especially "Shitsville"--that's a jam.
4. Mastodon - Once More 'Round the Sun
I saw these guys live this year, for like, the fourth time. They were SO damned boring. They didn't even want to be there, I think. Maybe it's because they were too busy getting ready to drop this album. It's excellent. Not one weak track. I might even rank it higher if they hadn't bored me to tears at the House of Blues in Cleveland.
3. Pallbearer - Foundations of Burden
So dark and melodic and slow and tasty and heavy and juicy and oh muh god
2. Beck - Morning Phase
A nice "sequel" to his album from 2002, Sea Change. I had high expectations for this disc and he didn't disappoint. I don't really like quirky, silly Beck very much. But I'm way into depressed, acoustic Beck. This album is top notch. You should give it a legitimate listen.
1. Nothing - Guilty of Everything
Something about this album just won't leave me alone. From the opening dirges of "Hymn to the Pillory" to the last chord on the disc, it just stays with me for days and days. It's got a trancey, almost-shoegaze kind of feel, yet it harkens back to Smashing Pumpkins when they were fresh and meaningful. I really dig this disc more than any other.
----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
My Favorite Songs of 2014
(In no particular order, really)
1. What Did I Do?/God as My Witness - Foo Fighters
2. Beneath the Silt - Machine Head
3. Natural Born Killers - Live
4. At War with Reality - At the Gates
5. AOV - Slipknot
6. Eulogy for a Rock Band - Weezer
7. Clouds - Prince
8. World on Fire - Slash
9. Kill or Become - Cannibal Corpse
10.Cusp of Eternity - Opeth
11. Say Goodbye - Beck
12. Blackbird Chain - Beck
13. Shitsville - Freddie Gibbs and Madlib
14. She Used to Love Me a Lot - Johnny Cash
15. Crying in the Rain - Magnum
16. Red - Silver Snakes
17. Same Side - The Casket Girls
18. Take It Off - Sleeper Agent
19. Heaven's Wall - Bruce Springsteen
20. My Dying Time - Black Label Society
21. Shades of Gray - Black Label Society
22. Pop Bubble - Body Count
23. The Taste of Dying - Crowbar
24. Animal Heart - Nina Persson
25. We Knew Him Well - Down
26. Qwerty - Mushroomhead
27. Dig - Nothing
28. Baring Teeth for Revolt - Goatwhore
29. Would You Fight for My Love? - Jack White
30. Beginning of the End - Judas Priest
31. Just Like a Dream - Lykke Li
32. Take Me to Church - Hozier
33. High Road - Mastodon
34. Ember City - Mastodon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)