The search for reason: Relationships

05/31/12
I never take for granted the relationship I have with Erin.  My wife and I have been together since we were 19.  July 15, 1997, to be exact.  At 2 a.m. Over the phone.  I asked her to be mine.  She did.  I'm a douche.

Either way, in the 15 years since then, we've had two fairly harsh disagreements.  Two.  Like, they weren't ever like, "I'm breaking up with you."  And, "Oh yea?  Well, I'm breaking up with you."  They were tear-filled exchanges that ended in a very short amount of time.  On both occasions, outside stresses caused the fray.  But, we worked it out.  It is said that a good relationship takes a lot of hard work.

But it really doesn't, I don't think.  As long as both people are always willing to go out of their way to make their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/idunnowhatwearebutitscomplicatedperson happy at all costs, it's smooth sailing.  My marriage has brought me 99.98% happiness.  Before we were married--we'll it brought me less happiness, because I had to drive her home every night, and return to an empty room--which caused me heartache every single time.

A good relationship should bring you pleasure 10 times out of 10.  Seriously.  Some "single" people I talk to, both in "real life" and on the "internetz"--they're really good people.  They just don't know what they want yet.  That's perfectly fine, I think.  One should take his/her time. 

I happened to be lucky in that I found a super-cool chick who is laid back.  And I'm laid back.  And she makes me happy.  Cooks me awesome food.  Let's me shop in the CD store for hours--and helps me look for stuff in the ridiculous used bins.  She supports my music habits and my endeavors with my TWO bands.  She understands my strengths, and knows that things that "aren't in my skill set" (as I tell her) are probably never going to be in my skill set.  And she buys me nice clothes, and tells me that I look awesome in them.  And she buys me sour patch kids.  And she watches Sportscenter with me.

And I grab her milk at night.  And get her blanket ready.  I watch "Hardcore Pawn" with her, even though it makes me hate humanity.  And I water flowers and gardens, even though it's not my thing--but because it makes her extremely happy, it is now my thing, too.  And I take her Chipotle when she's at work.

You know, there's just little things that we do that make the other one feel pretty damned good.  We don't talk about it.  We just have always had that understanding.  Sometimes, I see people suffering over their significant other.  Faltering at the worst times.  Being aggressive or verbally abusive.  That's when people say the dreaded, "Well, love takes effort."  Yes.  Good effort.  Not negative effort, like understanding that he just gets angry sometimes and flies off the handle.  And not that she's "usually really cool, but some days she just turns into a super bitch."

Why does one have to settle for that?  We only have one life.  I'm not gonna say goddamned YOLO.  But, seriously, we get one try at this fulfillment before we die.  Some take comfort in an afterlife and eternal happiness.  I'm not banking on all that.  I've got now.  Erin has been, from the first time I talked to her, someone who I never had to "suffer" through.  I don't have to accept her negatives, because, really they're uttlerly insignificant.  And I grew up watching Disney movies and seeing these prince/princess tales, and the love stories where "I'd take a bullet for you"--and "The Wedding Singer".  I saw all that, and I wanted that someday when I got older.

Luckily, I found something even better.