Time to be saved; Oh wait. Too late.

07/22/12
First and foremost, let me say that I'm a horrendous golfer right now.  Having trouble getting an iron shot in the air.  EVERYTHING shoots directly out to the right--kinda like, dare I say it--a shank.  And the ones I DO hit go far too high in the air.  I hope I fix it soon.  One of my favorite hobbies is providing me endless frustration.

Here's my point of ACTUAL frustration right now.  Every Sunday, I go to my family's house.  I like seeing everyone.  I've learned over the past few years that family is not necessarily a guarantee.  So, my mother's side has been fairly steady.

They're all very religious.  Every Sunday, they go to church.  My mother has had a picture of myself and my brother in a box on the altar.  I'm pretty sure that she prays that I'll start going again, every week.  I haven't gone to church since I was 17.  Not because I'm too lazy.  I just don't buy into it.  It's as simple as that.

I understand that every religion, if it is to succeed in the long run, must incorporate a couple of ideas:
1. Don't question the religion.  That's a sin, so doing so is totally unacceptable.
2. Spread the religion.  Teach others to be saved.  That is the only way you can "be true" to your religion.

This is brilliant because it ensures the survival of your religious ideals.  Any religion that doesn't include these parameters simply does not last very long. 

But I find the second one to be very concerning.  When you tell someone what they should believe, it's kinda like telling him/her that they have it wrong, and you have it right.  It really takes quite a bit of ignorance of the person who is "spreading the message".  I feel like I've been very quiet about the whole thing because it's important to most of my family.  In tough times, it gives them support.  That affirmation every Sunday is what they want and need--and I'm perfectly cool with that.  They get one life to live and then, they feel, there's the afterlife.  It's comforting to know when you're burying a loved one that you will "see them again someday"--once again, I don't believe that personally. 

Now, being raised a Christian has done some positive things for me.  I know that I want to help people who are in trouble.  Not because I think it'll get me to heaven/Nirvana/whosawhatsit.  I just think it's the right thing to do, and it makes me feel good.  Perhaps without church as a child, I'd have been a criminal.  I dunno.

But I was given a couple of DVDs to watch today--another attempt to show me my shortcomings and make me change.  I won't change.  Never will.  I take it because I don't want to be disrespectful.  However, I'm not going to watch them.  Apparently, there's a disc about marriage, too.  Which, once again, I won't watch.  I feel like I'm getting the marriage thing right because I love my wife and I work to make her happy.  She does the same for me.  And we go to bed quite fulfilled.  Without bedtime prayers.

I just keep smiling and nodding.  Eventually, I may not do that.  I may stand my ground.  It's going to upset people, but maybe it would give them identification with how I feel every few weeks when this kind of thing occurs.  I think it's a technique to try and bring one closer.  In this case, it's only going to push me further away.