I decided to start my morning of "what the hell am I doing up???well I might as well get stuff done" with laundry. And, while I wait for laundry--a blog about wrestling promos.
I've been watching wrestling since I was, well, a fetus, perhaps. I've been slacking over the past few months, though. I decided to tune in for a very mediocre episode of RAW last night. Man, these guys/gals SUCK at promos. They're the most important thing in generating that crowd reaction you want. They should watch THESE people do it. These are my favorite promos ever.
#7 Booker T Throws Out a Racial Slur at Hulk Hogan
I know he did it accidentally, but this is just awesome. I love the reaction of other people in the shot, too. Sensational Sherri (who shows up in another promo later in the countdown) actually seems kinda proud of the faux pas--which is interesting in itself...
#6 The Ultimate Warrior
I really can't pick just one. All of them were so over the top, and none of them really made any logical sense. This is a nice collage. Watch it, it'll probably make your day. My favorite part is around :27, where he talks about the "freak of nature beginning to swell" and then ends that with some jibba jabba which makes no sense, in any form, when you listen to the ENGLISH contained within.
#5 Ric Flair
Just like the Warrior above, I love so many of his promos. But, his are awesome because of how good he really is at it. He works the crowd until they're into a frenzy. He throws catch phrases out left and right, without really thinking about it. Honestly, current wrestlers should watch this to see how it's done. This is one of my favorites, from the late 80s. Love his comments about the ladies/fans throughout.
#4 Roddy Piper - "The Hot Scot" (Wrestlemania VI)
I can't actually find this one on YouTube. At WM6, Hot Rod painted himself right down the middle--trying to convey a split personality. This kinda borders on racism, especially for the made for TV ones, where he was pretty much doing black face. At WM6 though, he focused on the balance between being the Hot Rod and the Hot Scot. Brilliant stuff. Intimidating. Creative. Funny.
#3 Macho Man/Zeus/Sherri Cage Promo
Macho is my favorite wrestler of all time. However, for a while, he was acting like a crack addict. I'll admit it. For some reason, it was mostly around Sherri--who may have ACTUALLY been a crack addict. Add a grunting and yelling Zeus, and the climbing all over the cage. Man, this one is way over the top!
#2 Dusty Rhodes - "Kings and Queens" Promo for Billy Graham
Dusty WAS wrestling promos. The only reason he was popular is because he made people love him. He became known as the common man because people identified with him--and the things that he said. The "wined and dined with kings and queens" promo for Graham is, undoubtedly, my favorite Dusty moment. This guy could have the audience eating out of the palm of his hand within two seconds. Every time.
#1 Jake the Snake Roberts - "Wallowing in the Muck of Avarice"
I just realized WM6 had some awesome promos. This one is poetic. Cold. Intimidating. Stunning. Beautiful. Heartfelt. And was probably done while Jake was getting over a few lines of coke right before the show. Either way, I still remember hearing this as a kid and getting chills. It was so perfect. If there's a promo EVER done better than this one--that will be my new favorite grappler. Until then, we just have to watch Monday Night Amateur Hour...
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