07/22/12
First and foremost, let me say that I'm a horrendous golfer right now. Having trouble getting an iron shot in the air. EVERYTHING shoots directly out to the right--kinda like, dare I say it--a shank. And the ones I DO hit go far too high in the air. I hope I fix it soon. One of my favorite hobbies is providing me endless frustration.
Here's my point of ACTUAL frustration right now. Every Sunday, I go to my family's house. I like seeing everyone. I've learned over the past few years that family is not necessarily a guarantee. So, my mother's side has been fairly steady.
They're all very religious. Every Sunday, they go to church. My mother has had a picture of myself and my brother in a box on the altar. I'm pretty sure that she prays that I'll start going again, every week. I haven't gone to church since I was 17. Not because I'm too lazy. I just don't buy into it. It's as simple as that.
I understand that every religion, if it is to succeed in the long run, must incorporate a couple of ideas:
1. Don't question the religion. That's a sin, so doing so is totally unacceptable.
2. Spread the religion. Teach others to be saved. That is the only way you can "be true" to your religion.
This is brilliant because it ensures the survival of your religious ideals. Any religion that doesn't include these parameters simply does not last very long.
But I find the second one to be very concerning. When you tell someone what they should believe, it's kinda like telling him/her that they have it wrong, and you have it right. It really takes quite a bit of ignorance of the person who is "spreading the message". I feel like I've been very quiet about the whole thing because it's important to most of my family. In tough times, it gives them support. That affirmation every Sunday is what they want and need--and I'm perfectly cool with that. They get one life to live and then, they feel, there's the afterlife. It's comforting to know when you're burying a loved one that you will "see them again someday"--once again, I don't believe that personally.
Now, being raised a Christian has done some positive things for me. I know that I want to help people who are in trouble. Not because I think it'll get me to heaven/Nirvana/whosawhatsit. I just think it's the right thing to do, and it makes me feel good. Perhaps without church as a child, I'd have been a criminal. I dunno.
But I was given a couple of DVDs to watch today--another attempt to show me my shortcomings and make me change. I won't change. Never will. I take it because I don't want to be disrespectful. However, I'm not going to watch them. Apparently, there's a disc about marriage, too. Which, once again, I won't watch. I feel like I'm getting the marriage thing right because I love my wife and I work to make her happy. She does the same for me. And we go to bed quite fulfilled. Without bedtime prayers.
I just keep smiling and nodding. Eventually, I may not do that. I may stand my ground. It's going to upset people, but maybe it would give them identification with how I feel every few weeks when this kind of thing occurs. I think it's a technique to try and bring one closer. In this case, it's only going to push me further away.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Muse. Ikkkk.
07.16.12
I've been lucky enough to play in a band since I was 13 years old. Johnny Kihm and I thought we'd like to jam some ACTUAL music--not just watch it on TV and listen to it on our fancy tape players/CD players anymore. So, Johnny decided to play bass (probably because there are less strings) and I decided to play drums (probably because there really wasn't a demand for trombone players in a rock/metal band). We were really listening to Sepultura a lot around that time--but we weren't good enough to play that. Hell, we might STILL not be good enough to play that. Anyways, we joined up with a dude named Jeremy Russell, and we played in my basement. I bought a 200 dollar Ludwig set (with cracked cymbals)--it was sparkly and blue--and we started.
This actually isn't all accurate, because my first time jamming was with Johnny--but it was in his basement. I used this floating drum set thing (which sounded like crap) and Johnny had a bass. Eventually, we hooked up with J. Russell.
However, within a few months, that passed. Jeremy was a little "non-committal" you could say. I've known a lot of guitar players--many of them are non-committal. They don't WANT to stay tied down to one thing for too long. To be honest, drummers are usually the worst. Their attention spans usually last as long as the instrument requires--which is about two seconds. Then, you're on to pounding the hell out of a different cymbal or drum. You need attention span to set up. That takes what feels like an eternity. I feel like I am different in that I stay focused on my tasks. I don't wanna quit this and join that. I'm lucky enough to be in two bands right now, both of which I enjoy very much. But, this is a matter for later.
Anyhow, Deadlock came around when I was around 14. Johnny and I were in a three-piece band with a guy in our class named Tom Strain. Tommy was an athlete, and a smart kid. He was a solid guitarist--though soloing, at that point in his playing career, wasn't his strength. I sang and played drums. I'm a pretty good singer, but my voice is not gruff. I like harmonies, and I don't growl too much. So, rock isn't always a perfect fit for me. After a while, like two years and ten recorded songs, Tommy wanted to sing. Johnny and I didn't like that idea. We moved on. So did he.
Next, we joined up with our friends Julian and Andy to form what would become known as Purge Cannister. This was supposed to be a band of like, 20 people. We were all gonna switch instruments all of the time. Just write whatever we wanted. Instead, we met John Prosenjak, and we instantly became a death metal band. We setup a show at Amy's Campus 2000, and advertised RELENTLESSLY for weeks on campus. I was around 17 or 18 then. We drew about 300 people to our first show, just by word of mouth--creating a buzz. Within our first two songs, we'd ripped up three bibles, spouted fake blood all over the place, and chased all 300 people out of the bar. They all went to church the next day, I'm sure.
Julian figured out that death metal bands don't get chicks (something I still have not figured out, apparently) and Andy had other plans, so it was just John, Johnny and I. We found an advertisement at New York Music in Niles (RIP) and called Jeremy Cibella. He was 18 and had a Jesus light switch cover in his room. But man, that kid could PLAY. So, we jammed once, and DIRTNAP was formed.
Our first show (John, Johnny, Jeremy and myself) was at an AA bar in Girard. We never got paid, and the cops came. But 20 or 30 people saw us, and that was the first "KKC" show--though we didn't change our name until a few months later.
KKC has been playing out since 1998. We've seen a few changes here and there. Sometimes, we were in a mode where we'd play five shows a month. Sometimes, we'd play one show in six months. It all depended on how we were feeling. Without question, when I was 19--I was going to be famous. Music was, for all intents and purposes, my first love. I even went to YSU (on a full scholarship) to the Dana School of Music. I stayed in the program for a year before my love of music was stifled. I did get a minor in music from that time--but once I switched to English, that was it. I still thought my band might get famous. But, even then, it was tough.
Now, with the dying of the industry, it's even harder. People like you and I--we don't always PAY for the music. Illegal downloading is at an all time high. Labels (like Roadrunner UK) are shutting down. People's livelihood is being destroyed. But nobody wants to buy CDs. Okay. I do. I still by, like, 10 a month. But that's how you end up with 3000 CDs. Not everyone wants to do that, or has the means. So, people have to save money in tough times--and why spend 10 bucks, when you can get it for free.
Near the end of 2010, I got a call from an acquaintance from YSU named BJ Lisko. BJ was reforming his band, the Turbo Lovers, and he needed a drummer. He said he wanted to have some fun, and wanted to know if I'd check it out. While I was worried this might make the guys in KKC question my dedication, I decided to take a chance.
However, things didn't go like that. Within a few days, BJ had talked to Adam May--our current guitarist and singer--and they wanted to reform a group they had had years ago. Just for kicks. And we did. White Cadillac was born.
WC is a blast for me. I love playing with both of them, because they're such great players and they KNOW what makes rock. Like, there's definitely a groove I feel there. The last WC album, I can listen to it, and be pleased with every track. This brings me endless joy. So far, I've been very pleased to play with BJ and Adam--because it's fun and it's rock n roll! That's one side.
KKC is on the other side. It's my death metal band, and it's with my best friend, Johnny. We fight and shit because, he's like a brother--and that's what brothers do. So cliche. But so true. However, I know how dedicated he is. It's a passion for him. It's a passion for me, too. I know Johnny's strengths and his weaknesses. And Jeremy's. And Ian's, KKC's singer now--who REALLY wants to work hard to take the band to new places. Fame? No. Just make us happier to have more people singing along with our stuff.
I'm not "settling" with the life I have. My life makes me EXTREMELY happy. This is the life I WANT to have. I don't need bells or whistles. I've never wanted sex, drugs and rock n roll. I'm a teacher, with music as a strong interest. That's what I've been since 2000. It's what I'll continue to be.
But anyone who really knows me, has never questioned my love or dedication to music. I've done it since I was two years old. I could sing before I could talk. A lot of people sell me short, because I'm a drummer. But I can read music. And write it. I'm not a strong guitar player, but I can write riffs and harmonies as well as the next guy. I play piano, trombone, drums, baritone, and I sing.
On the new KKC album, I've written about half the music. And this new disc is sounding GOOOOOOD. All of those dudes respect what I bring to the table--and they always have. That's why it's comfortable.
That's why it feels like home.
I've been lucky enough to play in a band since I was 13 years old. Johnny Kihm and I thought we'd like to jam some ACTUAL music--not just watch it on TV and listen to it on our fancy tape players/CD players anymore. So, Johnny decided to play bass (probably because there are less strings) and I decided to play drums (probably because there really wasn't a demand for trombone players in a rock/metal band). We were really listening to Sepultura a lot around that time--but we weren't good enough to play that. Hell, we might STILL not be good enough to play that. Anyways, we joined up with a dude named Jeremy Russell, and we played in my basement. I bought a 200 dollar Ludwig set (with cracked cymbals)--it was sparkly and blue--and we started.
This actually isn't all accurate, because my first time jamming was with Johnny--but it was in his basement. I used this floating drum set thing (which sounded like crap) and Johnny had a bass. Eventually, we hooked up with J. Russell.
However, within a few months, that passed. Jeremy was a little "non-committal" you could say. I've known a lot of guitar players--many of them are non-committal. They don't WANT to stay tied down to one thing for too long. To be honest, drummers are usually the worst. Their attention spans usually last as long as the instrument requires--which is about two seconds. Then, you're on to pounding the hell out of a different cymbal or drum. You need attention span to set up. That takes what feels like an eternity. I feel like I am different in that I stay focused on my tasks. I don't wanna quit this and join that. I'm lucky enough to be in two bands right now, both of which I enjoy very much. But, this is a matter for later.
Anyhow, Deadlock came around when I was around 14. Johnny and I were in a three-piece band with a guy in our class named Tom Strain. Tommy was an athlete, and a smart kid. He was a solid guitarist--though soloing, at that point in his playing career, wasn't his strength. I sang and played drums. I'm a pretty good singer, but my voice is not gruff. I like harmonies, and I don't growl too much. So, rock isn't always a perfect fit for me. After a while, like two years and ten recorded songs, Tommy wanted to sing. Johnny and I didn't like that idea. We moved on. So did he.
Next, we joined up with our friends Julian and Andy to form what would become known as Purge Cannister. This was supposed to be a band of like, 20 people. We were all gonna switch instruments all of the time. Just write whatever we wanted. Instead, we met John Prosenjak, and we instantly became a death metal band. We setup a show at Amy's Campus 2000, and advertised RELENTLESSLY for weeks on campus. I was around 17 or 18 then. We drew about 300 people to our first show, just by word of mouth--creating a buzz. Within our first two songs, we'd ripped up three bibles, spouted fake blood all over the place, and chased all 300 people out of the bar. They all went to church the next day, I'm sure.
Julian figured out that death metal bands don't get chicks (something I still have not figured out, apparently) and Andy had other plans, so it was just John, Johnny and I. We found an advertisement at New York Music in Niles (RIP) and called Jeremy Cibella. He was 18 and had a Jesus light switch cover in his room. But man, that kid could PLAY. So, we jammed once, and DIRTNAP was formed.
Our first show (John, Johnny, Jeremy and myself) was at an AA bar in Girard. We never got paid, and the cops came. But 20 or 30 people saw us, and that was the first "KKC" show--though we didn't change our name until a few months later.
KKC has been playing out since 1998. We've seen a few changes here and there. Sometimes, we were in a mode where we'd play five shows a month. Sometimes, we'd play one show in six months. It all depended on how we were feeling. Without question, when I was 19--I was going to be famous. Music was, for all intents and purposes, my first love. I even went to YSU (on a full scholarship) to the Dana School of Music. I stayed in the program for a year before my love of music was stifled. I did get a minor in music from that time--but once I switched to English, that was it. I still thought my band might get famous. But, even then, it was tough.
Now, with the dying of the industry, it's even harder. People like you and I--we don't always PAY for the music. Illegal downloading is at an all time high. Labels (like Roadrunner UK) are shutting down. People's livelihood is being destroyed. But nobody wants to buy CDs. Okay. I do. I still by, like, 10 a month. But that's how you end up with 3000 CDs. Not everyone wants to do that, or has the means. So, people have to save money in tough times--and why spend 10 bucks, when you can get it for free.
Near the end of 2010, I got a call from an acquaintance from YSU named BJ Lisko. BJ was reforming his band, the Turbo Lovers, and he needed a drummer. He said he wanted to have some fun, and wanted to know if I'd check it out. While I was worried this might make the guys in KKC question my dedication, I decided to take a chance.
However, things didn't go like that. Within a few days, BJ had talked to Adam May--our current guitarist and singer--and they wanted to reform a group they had had years ago. Just for kicks. And we did. White Cadillac was born.
WC is a blast for me. I love playing with both of them, because they're such great players and they KNOW what makes rock. Like, there's definitely a groove I feel there. The last WC album, I can listen to it, and be pleased with every track. This brings me endless joy. So far, I've been very pleased to play with BJ and Adam--because it's fun and it's rock n roll! That's one side.
KKC is on the other side. It's my death metal band, and it's with my best friend, Johnny. We fight and shit because, he's like a brother--and that's what brothers do. So cliche. But so true. However, I know how dedicated he is. It's a passion for him. It's a passion for me, too. I know Johnny's strengths and his weaknesses. And Jeremy's. And Ian's, KKC's singer now--who REALLY wants to work hard to take the band to new places. Fame? No. Just make us happier to have more people singing along with our stuff.
I'm not "settling" with the life I have. My life makes me EXTREMELY happy. This is the life I WANT to have. I don't need bells or whistles. I've never wanted sex, drugs and rock n roll. I'm a teacher, with music as a strong interest. That's what I've been since 2000. It's what I'll continue to be.
But anyone who really knows me, has never questioned my love or dedication to music. I've done it since I was two years old. I could sing before I could talk. A lot of people sell me short, because I'm a drummer. But I can read music. And write it. I'm not a strong guitar player, but I can write riffs and harmonies as well as the next guy. I play piano, trombone, drums, baritone, and I sing.
On the new KKC album, I've written about half the music. And this new disc is sounding GOOOOOOD. All of those dudes respect what I bring to the table--and they always have. That's why it's comfortable.
That's why it feels like home.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The 7 Best Wrestling Promos EVER!
06/19/12
I decided to start my morning of "what the hell am I doing up???well I might as well get stuff done" with laundry. And, while I wait for laundry--a blog about wrestling promos.
I've been watching wrestling since I was, well, a fetus, perhaps. I've been slacking over the past few months, though. I decided to tune in for a very mediocre episode of RAW last night. Man, these guys/gals SUCK at promos. They're the most important thing in generating that crowd reaction you want. They should watch THESE people do it. These are my favorite promos ever.
#7 Booker T Throws Out a Racial Slur at Hulk Hogan
I know he did it accidentally, but this is just awesome. I love the reaction of other people in the shot, too. Sensational Sherri (who shows up in another promo later in the countdown) actually seems kinda proud of the faux pas--which is interesting in itself...
#6 The Ultimate Warrior
I really can't pick just one. All of them were so over the top, and none of them really made any logical sense. This is a nice collage. Watch it, it'll probably make your day. My favorite part is around :27, where he talks about the "freak of nature beginning to swell" and then ends that with some jibba jabba which makes no sense, in any form, when you listen to the ENGLISH contained within.
#5 Ric Flair
Just like the Warrior above, I love so many of his promos. But, his are awesome because of how good he really is at it. He works the crowd until they're into a frenzy. He throws catch phrases out left and right, without really thinking about it. Honestly, current wrestlers should watch this to see how it's done. This is one of my favorites, from the late 80s. Love his comments about the ladies/fans throughout.
#4 Roddy Piper - "The Hot Scot" (Wrestlemania VI)
I can't actually find this one on YouTube. At WM6, Hot Rod painted himself right down the middle--trying to convey a split personality. This kinda borders on racism, especially for the made for TV ones, where he was pretty much doing black face. At WM6 though, he focused on the balance between being the Hot Rod and the Hot Scot. Brilliant stuff. Intimidating. Creative. Funny.
#3 Macho Man/Zeus/Sherri Cage Promo
Macho is my favorite wrestler of all time. However, for a while, he was acting like a crack addict. I'll admit it. For some reason, it was mostly around Sherri--who may have ACTUALLY been a crack addict. Add a grunting and yelling Zeus, and the climbing all over the cage. Man, this one is way over the top!
#2 Dusty Rhodes - "Kings and Queens" Promo for Billy Graham
Dusty WAS wrestling promos. The only reason he was popular is because he made people love him. He became known as the common man because people identified with him--and the things that he said. The "wined and dined with kings and queens" promo for Graham is, undoubtedly, my favorite Dusty moment. This guy could have the audience eating out of the palm of his hand within two seconds. Every time.
I decided to start my morning of "what the hell am I doing up???well I might as well get stuff done" with laundry. And, while I wait for laundry--a blog about wrestling promos.
I've been watching wrestling since I was, well, a fetus, perhaps. I've been slacking over the past few months, though. I decided to tune in for a very mediocre episode of RAW last night. Man, these guys/gals SUCK at promos. They're the most important thing in generating that crowd reaction you want. They should watch THESE people do it. These are my favorite promos ever.
#7 Booker T Throws Out a Racial Slur at Hulk Hogan
I know he did it accidentally, but this is just awesome. I love the reaction of other people in the shot, too. Sensational Sherri (who shows up in another promo later in the countdown) actually seems kinda proud of the faux pas--which is interesting in itself...
#6 The Ultimate Warrior
I really can't pick just one. All of them were so over the top, and none of them really made any logical sense. This is a nice collage. Watch it, it'll probably make your day. My favorite part is around :27, where he talks about the "freak of nature beginning to swell" and then ends that with some jibba jabba which makes no sense, in any form, when you listen to the ENGLISH contained within.
#5 Ric Flair
Just like the Warrior above, I love so many of his promos. But, his are awesome because of how good he really is at it. He works the crowd until they're into a frenzy. He throws catch phrases out left and right, without really thinking about it. Honestly, current wrestlers should watch this to see how it's done. This is one of my favorites, from the late 80s. Love his comments about the ladies/fans throughout.
#4 Roddy Piper - "The Hot Scot" (Wrestlemania VI)
I can't actually find this one on YouTube. At WM6, Hot Rod painted himself right down the middle--trying to convey a split personality. This kinda borders on racism, especially for the made for TV ones, where he was pretty much doing black face. At WM6 though, he focused on the balance between being the Hot Rod and the Hot Scot. Brilliant stuff. Intimidating. Creative. Funny.
#3 Macho Man/Zeus/Sherri Cage Promo
Macho is my favorite wrestler of all time. However, for a while, he was acting like a crack addict. I'll admit it. For some reason, it was mostly around Sherri--who may have ACTUALLY been a crack addict. Add a grunting and yelling Zeus, and the climbing all over the cage. Man, this one is way over the top!
#2 Dusty Rhodes - "Kings and Queens" Promo for Billy Graham
Dusty WAS wrestling promos. The only reason he was popular is because he made people love him. He became known as the common man because people identified with him--and the things that he said. The "wined and dined with kings and queens" promo for Graham is, undoubtedly, my favorite Dusty moment. This guy could have the audience eating out of the palm of his hand within two seconds. Every time.
#1 Jake the Snake Roberts - "Wallowing in the Muck of Avarice"
I just realized WM6 had some awesome promos. This one is poetic. Cold. Intimidating. Stunning. Beautiful. Heartfelt. And was probably done while Jake was getting over a few lines of coke right before the show. Either way, I still remember hearing this as a kid and getting chills. It was so perfect. If there's a promo EVER done better than this one--that will be my new favorite grappler. Until then, we just have to watch Monday Night Amateur Hour...
Monday, June 18, 2012
The Smelko Effect
06/18/12
This past Sunday was, of course, Father's Day. Hung out with my dad and my family, went to a grad party, etc. Something rather intriguing went on within me, however--quite by accident. I went to my cousin Breanna's THIRD birthday party. They were swimming and being children. Good times. However, she lives in Hubbard off of South Main St. This is significant because much of my early childhood was spent growing up at 117 South Main St. I drove by my childhood home. Well, where my childhood home USED to be. Right after my parents sold it in 1985, and we moved to Waugh Dr. in Hubbard--a company bought our old house on South Main and turned it into a parking lot. So, my childhood home is gone. So is the home to the left of our house there--which was once occupied by a woman who had THOUSANDS of those plaster figurines. Nice enough, she was. However, the figurines gave her a level of creepdom.
Anyhow, I came to grips with my childhood home being gone long ago. Like I said, they knocked it down in early 1986. I told my mom to drive by so I could see the hole where the house was. There is was. Eh. I have memories, and I could still describe that house--every inch of it--today. I wasn't BORN living there. I lived in a trailer park on Belmont Ave. for the first four months of my life--then it was to South Main.
Point is, there was an old man who lived to the RIGHT of us on South Main named Bert Smelko. I don't recall exactly how old he was. He seemed DAMNED old when I was 7. I'd say he was in his 70s. He had a wife there for a few years. She died. I remember the delicious pies disappeared that she made, and he was sad. But, he spent more time on the porch, and that was okay with me. That's where I wanted him to be. When I was bored (especially before Donnie was born), I'd hike over to his porch and sit and talk with him. He talked to me like I was more grown up. I mean, he wasn't dropping F-bombs. But, you know, he'd have intellectual conversations with me, even though I was like, five. Once we moved to Waugh (I had a neighbor THERE named Ernie, so I had Bert and Ernie as neighbors. Thought that was goddamned hilarious back then), I lost track of Bert. A handful of years later--like in the early 90s--he died. I didn't go to his funeral. I really wanted to remember him as the guy on the porch.
That was shattered as I drove to Bree's party on Sunday. His house was never ABANDONED, that I can remember, since his death. Now, it is. The swing on the porch is gone. Trees are overgrown, swallowing the rickety home. I'm sure his garden is overgrown and long forgotten. So is he, I'm sure. He was a quiet dude. But that house had pictures of all of his family. His child. His dead wife. Now, no one cares about it really. Except for me, I suppose.
My high school is gone now--knocked down. I couldn't care less, really. I thought high school was utterly stupid, which is why I try to make it NOT that for the students I have now. But that porch was really the last visible bastion of my early years. Sitting there next to him, I would think about being an actor, or becoming a major league baseball umpire, or playing a new Atari game that I wanted--and he would just listen to me ramble, and he'd ramble back. He made me feel like I could control ANYTHING when I got older.
Seeing the brush swallowing up the area where I once felt like I could control it all. And now, for some reason, it brought a sense of a loss of that control. I wouldn't mind talking to that old man one last time.
This past Sunday was, of course, Father's Day. Hung out with my dad and my family, went to a grad party, etc. Something rather intriguing went on within me, however--quite by accident. I went to my cousin Breanna's THIRD birthday party. They were swimming and being children. Good times. However, she lives in Hubbard off of South Main St. This is significant because much of my early childhood was spent growing up at 117 South Main St. I drove by my childhood home. Well, where my childhood home USED to be. Right after my parents sold it in 1985, and we moved to Waugh Dr. in Hubbard--a company bought our old house on South Main and turned it into a parking lot. So, my childhood home is gone. So is the home to the left of our house there--which was once occupied by a woman who had THOUSANDS of those plaster figurines. Nice enough, she was. However, the figurines gave her a level of creepdom.
Anyhow, I came to grips with my childhood home being gone long ago. Like I said, they knocked it down in early 1986. I told my mom to drive by so I could see the hole where the house was. There is was. Eh. I have memories, and I could still describe that house--every inch of it--today. I wasn't BORN living there. I lived in a trailer park on Belmont Ave. for the first four months of my life--then it was to South Main.
Point is, there was an old man who lived to the RIGHT of us on South Main named Bert Smelko. I don't recall exactly how old he was. He seemed DAMNED old when I was 7. I'd say he was in his 70s. He had a wife there for a few years. She died. I remember the delicious pies disappeared that she made, and he was sad. But, he spent more time on the porch, and that was okay with me. That's where I wanted him to be. When I was bored (especially before Donnie was born), I'd hike over to his porch and sit and talk with him. He talked to me like I was more grown up. I mean, he wasn't dropping F-bombs. But, you know, he'd have intellectual conversations with me, even though I was like, five. Once we moved to Waugh (I had a neighbor THERE named Ernie, so I had Bert and Ernie as neighbors. Thought that was goddamned hilarious back then), I lost track of Bert. A handful of years later--like in the early 90s--he died. I didn't go to his funeral. I really wanted to remember him as the guy on the porch.
That was shattered as I drove to Bree's party on Sunday. His house was never ABANDONED, that I can remember, since his death. Now, it is. The swing on the porch is gone. Trees are overgrown, swallowing the rickety home. I'm sure his garden is overgrown and long forgotten. So is he, I'm sure. He was a quiet dude. But that house had pictures of all of his family. His child. His dead wife. Now, no one cares about it really. Except for me, I suppose.
My high school is gone now--knocked down. I couldn't care less, really. I thought high school was utterly stupid, which is why I try to make it NOT that for the students I have now. But that porch was really the last visible bastion of my early years. Sitting there next to him, I would think about being an actor, or becoming a major league baseball umpire, or playing a new Atari game that I wanted--and he would just listen to me ramble, and he'd ramble back. He made me feel like I could control ANYTHING when I got older.
Seeing the brush swallowing up the area where I once felt like I could control it all. And now, for some reason, it brought a sense of a loss of that control. I wouldn't mind talking to that old man one last time.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Love of Hitch, Summer list
06/16/12
Thus far, this has been a refreshing summer. I've been golfing a lot, and hanging out with my friends. Musically, slow--but I'm not too bummed about that at the moment. I need to refresh myself a bit, and sometimes, that means just enjoying your free time and being alive. My wife has been working her ass off and--while some husbands would be like "Yay!"--I'm not. I sincerely appreciate her company. In fact, you know I can't go a whole blog without mentioning golf--I saw her get her first birdie ever today on the 4th hole at Old Avalon--a par 4. She drove it to 80 yards left, hit it within two feet, and putted it in. Damned happy for her.
In my boredom, and three Kentucky Bourbon Barrels in, I decided to take a break from the nonstop viewing of the US Open (go Tiger) to watch Alfred Hitchcock's I Confess. I had a Hitchcock class in my Masters studies several years ago (fun fact: with my future White Cadillac band mate, BJ Lisko). I've been pretty in love with Hitch ever since. I love his film style and the subliminal nature he utilizes to deliver non-subliminal truths. There are NO directors like him now. Nothing is visual or subtle. I still harbor aspirations of writing a script and filming a full length feature--albeit on a low budget, I'm sure. Though I don't love movies, I love the process of MAKING them. I totally sound like the clueless wife of the owner of Noah's Arcade in Wayne's World right now. But, I've always wanted to attempt this. Someday, I will. It might be awful. But I think, visually, I could put a rather impressive piece together.
I digress. Watching I Confess really inspired me to watch more Hitch this summer. I have over 50 of his films--a handful, I've still never watched. Plus Seasons 1 and 2 of his TV show. So, I'm going to watch more Hitch this summer. And putting THAT on the list made me want to make a list of goddamned lists. Okay. No it didn't. But I DID decide to make a list of things I want to accomplish before the WG comes calling again. So, here it is:
My "Do This Shit for Summer 2012" List:1. Clean the garage and the basement. Seriously. It's pretty out of line. This is mundane. But I've gotta do it.
2. Get Erin's "stuff" over to the house. She still has several things stored at her parents' place (as I call it, the "storage facility"). I gotta get that here.
3. Make sure Whit Acres is turning out some delicious produce.
4. Figure out my irons (or sell the damned things) and shoot below 40 for nine holes. I shot a 46 today, and it wasn't pretty. With three less mistakes, I'm at a 39.
5. Get the 49ers room taken care of. Also, get a Mario Manningham signature for the room. This just needs to happen.
6. Use the BeeHive to record the new KKC disc. Also, more solo stuff. Also, someone who isn't me. Also, a duet with someone. This all needs to happen.
7. Play a few video games, and finish them. I suck so much at completing games right now.
8. Write.
9. Do things for my Dad. Like, my pops cuts my grass and takes really good care of his sons. My brother and I have both been treated really well by Fred Sr. He's older now, and I need to help a bit more.
10. Destroy the last 25% of my temper. It showed up today. I need to just be chill all of the time. There's nothing in my life, seriously, worth being angry about. I need to finish the Thich Nhat Hanh book and just remember that shit. It's really not that hard, and life would be even better--which is hard to fathom.
11. My "musical" business venture--which I haven't talked much about--is almost underway. It's going to require more connections, more networking, more getting out of my house. But, I'm 34. So, that's not TOTALLY old yet.
12. Sharpen up my skillz on guitarz and pianoz. I can play both of these at a minimal level. However, if I learn how to play both of these better, all of the musical concepts that come into my head, can be released. I've seriously been singing like, 10 different things--over and over again--for two years. In my head, they're already existing songs. But they've never been played. I'm like Mr. Holland without the creepy moustache and the crush on curly haired girls that are far too young.
Thus far, this has been a refreshing summer. I've been golfing a lot, and hanging out with my friends. Musically, slow--but I'm not too bummed about that at the moment. I need to refresh myself a bit, and sometimes, that means just enjoying your free time and being alive. My wife has been working her ass off and--while some husbands would be like "Yay!"--I'm not. I sincerely appreciate her company. In fact, you know I can't go a whole blog without mentioning golf--I saw her get her first birdie ever today on the 4th hole at Old Avalon--a par 4. She drove it to 80 yards left, hit it within two feet, and putted it in. Damned happy for her.
In my boredom, and three Kentucky Bourbon Barrels in, I decided to take a break from the nonstop viewing of the US Open (go Tiger) to watch Alfred Hitchcock's I Confess. I had a Hitchcock class in my Masters studies several years ago (fun fact: with my future White Cadillac band mate, BJ Lisko). I've been pretty in love with Hitch ever since. I love his film style and the subliminal nature he utilizes to deliver non-subliminal truths. There are NO directors like him now. Nothing is visual or subtle. I still harbor aspirations of writing a script and filming a full length feature--albeit on a low budget, I'm sure. Though I don't love movies, I love the process of MAKING them. I totally sound like the clueless wife of the owner of Noah's Arcade in Wayne's World right now. But, I've always wanted to attempt this. Someday, I will. It might be awful. But I think, visually, I could put a rather impressive piece together.
I digress. Watching I Confess really inspired me to watch more Hitch this summer. I have over 50 of his films--a handful, I've still never watched. Plus Seasons 1 and 2 of his TV show. So, I'm going to watch more Hitch this summer. And putting THAT on the list made me want to make a list of goddamned lists. Okay. No it didn't. But I DID decide to make a list of things I want to accomplish before the WG comes calling again. So, here it is:
My "Do This Shit for Summer 2012" List:1. Clean the garage and the basement. Seriously. It's pretty out of line. This is mundane. But I've gotta do it.
2. Get Erin's "stuff" over to the house. She still has several things stored at her parents' place (as I call it, the "storage facility"). I gotta get that here.
3. Make sure Whit Acres is turning out some delicious produce.
4. Figure out my irons (or sell the damned things) and shoot below 40 for nine holes. I shot a 46 today, and it wasn't pretty. With three less mistakes, I'm at a 39.
5. Get the 49ers room taken care of. Also, get a Mario Manningham signature for the room. This just needs to happen.
6. Use the BeeHive to record the new KKC disc. Also, more solo stuff. Also, someone who isn't me. Also, a duet with someone. This all needs to happen.
7. Play a few video games, and finish them. I suck so much at completing games right now.
8. Write.
9. Do things for my Dad. Like, my pops cuts my grass and takes really good care of his sons. My brother and I have both been treated really well by Fred Sr. He's older now, and I need to help a bit more.
10. Destroy the last 25% of my temper. It showed up today. I need to just be chill all of the time. There's nothing in my life, seriously, worth being angry about. I need to finish the Thich Nhat Hanh book and just remember that shit. It's really not that hard, and life would be even better--which is hard to fathom.
11. My "musical" business venture--which I haven't talked much about--is almost underway. It's going to require more connections, more networking, more getting out of my house. But, I'm 34. So, that's not TOTALLY old yet.
12. Sharpen up my skillz on guitarz and pianoz. I can play both of these at a minimal level. However, if I learn how to play both of these better, all of the musical concepts that come into my head, can be released. I've seriously been singing like, 10 different things--over and over again--for two years. In my head, they're already existing songs. But they've never been played. I'm like Mr. Holland without the creepy moustache and the crush on curly haired girls that are far too young.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Everybody else is doing it, so why don't we?
06/04/12
I start this blog with some awesome news, though I think I may have posted something about it online a couple of weeks ago. Erin and I are going to be an aunt and uncle! My brother Donnie and my (favorite) sister-in-law, Kelsey, are expecting in November. This is absolutely awesome news. Like, I think they'll be great parents. It will make my father and mother a grandpa and grandma, which I know they're going to be psyched about. When they first told me (using a very clever fake newspaper headline), it didn't register right away. Kelsey was video recording my reaction, and I'm pretty sure I looked like an even bigger douche than I usually do. I'm not sure if I've EVER been this excited about anything--I can't wait to have a niece/nephew!
But, there's a little bit of a catch.
You see, my family is obsessed with babies. My mother's side, in particular. Like, they all want babies falling off of shelves, hiding under couches. They pretty much want a world full of babies. Pooping and peeing. Gurgling. Letting their big heads flop around on their rubbery necks. They love it.
My wife and I plan on having children. We're both 34. So, we're not young. But neither of us sees the reason for a rush. There are a few reasons for this. One, we don't know if we're ready to spend that money. We both like toys. I really dig drums. Video games. Pianos. Golf clubs. She likes purses. Clothes. Kitchen gadgets. All that--well, most of that--goes away after you have kids. So, first and foremost, we're still kinda selfish.
Secondly, we don't see kids as something you have to do within a certain amount of time after you get married. After--let's say--two years. People start asking. "So, when you having little ones? Are there kids in the future? Did you build an extra room in your house for kids?"
Still not sure WHY two years is the amount of time. Like, if you don't shoot out an infant after 800 days of marriage--did you miss the ovulation boat?
Truth be told, I think my wife would be a wonderful mother--and I don't think I'd screw the kid up too badly. But it's just not time. If we both turn 43 and it's still not time, then we just don't have any.
Maybe I'll just sell them on the Puerto Rican black market. Then, I'm getting the fun of having a baby for a short time, without all the commitment.
I start this blog with some awesome news, though I think I may have posted something about it online a couple of weeks ago. Erin and I are going to be an aunt and uncle! My brother Donnie and my (favorite) sister-in-law, Kelsey, are expecting in November. This is absolutely awesome news. Like, I think they'll be great parents. It will make my father and mother a grandpa and grandma, which I know they're going to be psyched about. When they first told me (using a very clever fake newspaper headline), it didn't register right away. Kelsey was video recording my reaction, and I'm pretty sure I looked like an even bigger douche than I usually do. I'm not sure if I've EVER been this excited about anything--I can't wait to have a niece/nephew!
But, there's a little bit of a catch.
You see, my family is obsessed with babies. My mother's side, in particular. Like, they all want babies falling off of shelves, hiding under couches. They pretty much want a world full of babies. Pooping and peeing. Gurgling. Letting their big heads flop around on their rubbery necks. They love it.
My wife and I plan on having children. We're both 34. So, we're not young. But neither of us sees the reason for a rush. There are a few reasons for this. One, we don't know if we're ready to spend that money. We both like toys. I really dig drums. Video games. Pianos. Golf clubs. She likes purses. Clothes. Kitchen gadgets. All that--well, most of that--goes away after you have kids. So, first and foremost, we're still kinda selfish.
Secondly, we don't see kids as something you have to do within a certain amount of time after you get married. After--let's say--two years. People start asking. "So, when you having little ones? Are there kids in the future? Did you build an extra room in your house for kids?"
Still not sure WHY two years is the amount of time. Like, if you don't shoot out an infant after 800 days of marriage--did you miss the ovulation boat?
Truth be told, I think my wife would be a wonderful mother--and I don't think I'd screw the kid up too badly. But it's just not time. If we both turn 43 and it's still not time, then we just don't have any.
Maybe I'll just sell them on the Puerto Rican black market. Then, I'm getting the fun of having a baby for a short time, without all the commitment.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
The search for reason: Relationships
05/31/12
I never take for granted the relationship I have with Erin. My wife and I have been together since we were 19. July 15, 1997, to be exact. At 2 a.m. Over the phone. I asked her to be mine. She did. I'm a douche.
Either way, in the 15 years since then, we've had two fairly harsh disagreements. Two. Like, they weren't ever like, "I'm breaking up with you." And, "Oh yea? Well, I'm breaking up with you." They were tear-filled exchanges that ended in a very short amount of time. On both occasions, outside stresses caused the fray. But, we worked it out. It is said that a good relationship takes a lot of hard work.
But it really doesn't, I don't think. As long as both people are always willing to go out of their way to make their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/idunnowhatwearebutitscomplicatedperson happy at all costs, it's smooth sailing. My marriage has brought me 99.98% happiness. Before we were married--we'll it brought me less happiness, because I had to drive her home every night, and return to an empty room--which caused me heartache every single time.
A good relationship should bring you pleasure 10 times out of 10. Seriously. Some "single" people I talk to, both in "real life" and on the "internetz"--they're really good people. They just don't know what they want yet. That's perfectly fine, I think. One should take his/her time.
I happened to be lucky in that I found a super-cool chick who is laid back. And I'm laid back. And she makes me happy. Cooks me awesome food. Let's me shop in the CD store for hours--and helps me look for stuff in the ridiculous used bins. She supports my music habits and my endeavors with my TWO bands. She understands my strengths, and knows that things that "aren't in my skill set" (as I tell her) are probably never going to be in my skill set. And she buys me nice clothes, and tells me that I look awesome in them. And she buys me sour patch kids. And she watches Sportscenter with me.
And I grab her milk at night. And get her blanket ready. I watch "Hardcore Pawn" with her, even though it makes me hate humanity. And I water flowers and gardens, even though it's not my thing--but because it makes her extremely happy, it is now my thing, too. And I take her Chipotle when she's at work.
You know, there's just little things that we do that make the other one feel pretty damned good. We don't talk about it. We just have always had that understanding. Sometimes, I see people suffering over their significant other. Faltering at the worst times. Being aggressive or verbally abusive. That's when people say the dreaded, "Well, love takes effort." Yes. Good effort. Not negative effort, like understanding that he just gets angry sometimes and flies off the handle. And not that she's "usually really cool, but some days she just turns into a super bitch."
Why does one have to settle for that? We only have one life. I'm not gonna say goddamned YOLO. But, seriously, we get one try at this fulfillment before we die. Some take comfort in an afterlife and eternal happiness. I'm not banking on all that. I've got now. Erin has been, from the first time I talked to her, someone who I never had to "suffer" through. I don't have to accept her negatives, because, really they're uttlerly insignificant. And I grew up watching Disney movies and seeing these prince/princess tales, and the love stories where "I'd take a bullet for you"--and "The Wedding Singer". I saw all that, and I wanted that someday when I got older.
Luckily, I found something even better.
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